these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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