They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
