Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
