I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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