margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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