i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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