i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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