You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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