if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
