it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
