for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize