Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
