I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
