That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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