Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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