I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize