don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
