ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
