just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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