i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
