i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Michael Bay diarrhea
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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