I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
3pm strippers are depressing
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
