I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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