I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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