So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
