Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
