There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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