It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
