True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize