Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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