I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ketchup is God's man juice
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The struggles of a small town man whore
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
