Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize