I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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