If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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