Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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