Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
