Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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