i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
