Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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