I'm pants shitting drunk right now
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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