I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
