If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
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Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
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I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
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