He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
