Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
