that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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