Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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