member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
