I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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