"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
