I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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