she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize