I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
