the condom got lost in my hair
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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