Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
